I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
