Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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