There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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