I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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