also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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