Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize