marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Shame - the story of my life.
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