There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
