I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
