Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
