Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
