I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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