I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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