becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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