He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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