Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
