Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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