I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
