I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
