Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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