onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I FOUND THE LEGS
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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