why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
