My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
