Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
