Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
