Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
