do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
