I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
