I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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