What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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