I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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