Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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