Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
