just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
