Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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