i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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