Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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