i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize