the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm experimenting with sincerity
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize