They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
