While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
