that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
