Non-Jews are for practice
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
