Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
