Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
