just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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