I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
