Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
