U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
