Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
