This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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