I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
