Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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