she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
