Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
