I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
