u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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