i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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