therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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