I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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