He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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