you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
