idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
