in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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