OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
