ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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