It's Friday. Sex?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
