next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
