Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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