Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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