i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
