Moan for me like Helen Keller
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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