She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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